Of course he’ll move me to tears…..

Monday, March 26, 2018

As the bride-to-be, you are busy planning for your big day. Your dress, the flowers, the décor, the food….. There is so much planning to be done! With the right attention to detail, your wedding will indeed be the magical event you have dreamed of for years.

When you imagine the speech that your new husband will deliver, take a moment to examine your unspoken expectations. We have all watched many movies and TV ‘Reality’ shows. They all depict the perfect proposal and the perfect wedding speech.

When the groom speaks about his new bride, it is clear that he is SO happy to be married to her. He tells everyone about how much he loves her, how she has changed his world and how he is the happiest man on the planet. Of course, he tells everyone how beautiful she is and how proud he is to be her husband.

In the movies, this is a carefully scripted speech written by professionals. They add in romantic music to capture the moment the bride’s eyes mist up. She too is overtaken with emotion. The speech was perfect! This speech was perfect because it was scripted, rehearsed, staged and perfected.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but that is not how most speeches by the groom go. The groom may well have the best of intentions but often leaves the speech to the last-minute to prepare. He might well hate public speaking! There is so much to do before a wedding. There never seems to be enough time to spend preparing the speech. Consider the possibility that the groom and his best men might have had a drink or two before the wedding, and you can understand why it might not go according to your plan.

The groom has not watched as many chick-flicks as you have. He might be blissfully unaware that you are expecting to be moved to tears! Even if he knows that, does he know how to do that in a speech? When he is nervous? When he is perhaps not used to speaking in public?

If you want superb wedding speeches to be delivered, you need to plan for that. Make it easy for your future husband. Point him in the direction of a resource that can help him. There are many websites and speech coaches out there. The Wedding Speaker’s Guide is one of them. If you are planning to do a speech, make sure that you are also prepared.

Like you, I have sat through some pretty awful speeches made by grooms at weddings. A friend recently shared with me that after weddings, the most spoken-about topic is not the dress or the décor. Sadly, it is usually the content of the speeches that went wrong! The most painful one I have personally witnessed was a groom who took the opportunity to have his entire speech consist of jokes about marriage. It was all about how his life was now over, and what he had just lost. His bride was not moved to tears at all – rather she was moved to a point of disbelief! Don’t let that happen to you. Memorable wedding speeches don’t just happen. They take some work. If they are done well, they will be remembered for years to come! I regard a speech by the groom as a gift that only he can give to his bride. With the right preparation, this gift will be treasured for a long time.

Ingredients for a superb speech by the Groom:

Your audience wants to know why this woman is so special to you.

  • Where did you meet?
  • Who introduced you? 
  • What was it about her that made her stand out? 
  • How has she changed your life? 
  • Share a story about a time when you realised she was the one for you.
  • How do you feel when you are together?
All you need to do is to speak from your heart and tell us a story. You don’t need jokes. Rather uncover the humour of the stories you share with us. Don’t speak for too long – 5 minutes is more than enough. Save your drinks for after your speech! Remember that your speech is a gift that only you can give! May your wedding speech be remembered – for all the right reasons!

Thank you to Aletta Rochat author of The Wedding Speaker’s Guide for supplying this post.

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